We don't have time for this. No need to be calling The Man. They say he's come back. Scary bus to scary boat. Who are you gonna call, Daddy? Only thing scary is Uncle Remus meets Bruce Lee. We came down here to have a good time.
Maybe you gotta shoot him, like, six times! Will somebody shut her up? Maybe you gotta shoot him more times. No, I ain't leavin' here without her. That's why there's no other tour boats. The remaining survivors decide to return to the house where they can arm themselves. I would call the police and they'd send someone. You gotta be fucking kidding me! I'm not walking over there. What kind of movie is it? Remember, you don't need to keep all your fingers and toes onboard, just the ones you want to keep.
What can you see from up there? Someone- Someone give me a hand. Hey, who wants to be in the Halloween video? You are really starting to freak me out, all right? Marybeth claims that Victor, now undead, roams the swamp at night, looking for his father, and that they are not safe in the woods, but the crew don't believe her. No, no, it looks dangerous. You don't need that thing. However, Victor Crowley just happened to be directly on the other side and inadvertently took a chop to the head when the hatchet broke through. I think there's a kid in there. I can see ain't no dead Elephant Man comin' to get me.
You guys, we need to get out of these woods. When one of the teens is captured, those who remain - a group that includes the cop who put a bullet in Goodnight's head four years ago - band together to survive against the brutal killer. Victor was scared to death of other kids. Marybeth and Ben return and attack Victor. Ben goes into the shed to retrieve a gasoline tank while Misty stands guard and Marybeth and Marcus act as bait. Oh, oh, right here, right here, right here. The survivors decide to lure Victor back to his house and set him on fire with the gasoline tanks in the shed.
I'm- - I- Oh, no, you- - We- We are so cute when we do that! All part of the tour! Would you just let me do my job? Get out of the water! Push against the pole with your knees! If we don't kill him, he'll kill us all. . More importantly, how many boats you ever driven? Shapiro splits from the group and is killed by Victor. I just want to go home. While I think labeling Victor Crowley as the next horror icon in the same vein as Jason, Michael Myers, and Freddy is complete preposterousness, saying Adam Green is someone to keep an eye on is a more realistic, and complimentary laurel. We can hurt him, ghost or not. Green follows the stock formula for such movies: take a bunch of folks, find an excuse to strand them in monster country, and let the audience revel in watching them get picked off one-by-one.
What can I do you two for? With fog hovering over the dark murky waters, Shawn takes the boat into a closed to traffic channel. Little do they know reclusive psychopath Jacob Goodnight has holed away in the rotting hotel. You do know the vibrator goes in your cooch and not your ear, right? What if it comes back? So you think a ghost got your family? I done heard it again! Barrett, ten bucks, condom, business car- We got two sets here. Yeah, why do you have a gun? Zombie, was sued for negligence. You afraid I'm gonna whip your ass again, you little bitch? I'm saying we fight back.
Shawn, excuse me, but we heard that the reason you bury them above ground is because of the water level. What, is he gonna wrestle her to submission? It's back into the woods. Shawn, how many of these tours have you done? I did this one here tonight, all right? I already told you, it's on the other side of the river, over two miles ago. He wanted to get off the boat in a hurry. Shapiro has Misty and Jenna strip down and film a scene for Bayou Beavers as everyone boards the boat, while a homeless swamp-dweller named Jack Cracker warns them away from the swamp. The boaters wave off the story as part of Shawn's continuing nonsense - except for Marybeth, who is notably discomforted.
What about your new girlie here, huh? I think he ate these things. I'm so psyched I did this. Once your eyes adjust, you'll be able to see some of the ghost lights, just hovering above the water over to the right at Kwaj Island. Now, uh, that's the spot where Captain John Donovan supposedly buried a trunk full a treasure. Most people just have one, and that's kinda boring.
We need to turn around. Oh, oh, watch out, watch out, watch out. That's the gist of it, anyway. Honey, you need to stand up. Everybody wave bye-bye to Jack.